The Send-off

My out-of-office assistant is turned on.  My pass has been turned into security.  I have left the building.  For the next 14 weeks, I am a representative of nobody but myself, an employee of desire.

I should be excited.

 

Grand adventure awaits.  Foreign lands, new people, different food.  I should be bouncing off the walls.

 

Instead I’m detached, going through the motions of Saturday evening.  I’m about a day early.  Tomorrow the exhilaration of leaving a country behind will take over. Adventure will begin. In the meantime there’s just this waiting pattern.

 

There are two reasons I’m on pause, the first and most obvious being the late stages of severe hangover.  Last night the Liar and I found out how many people wanted to see us leave. They did it at the Brisbane German Club, an establishment which always surprises us by letting us back in.  The beer flowed heavily, the schnapps fell quickly and we were kicked out eventually.  There were no stand-out anecdotes from the night, which indicates a good time had by all.  Thanks everyone for coming out.

 

The payment for this night of exuberance was paid for in cash at the bar and in pain at morning.  Human debris littered the Sceptic’s apartment and several hours of trans-fats, caffeine and sitting-very-still were needed to push everyone back to functioning.  Recovery day was rounded out with a trip to the cinema – The Expendables – which has already been (re)viewed by Justin.  Sitting in a cold, dark room and doing very little was a sensible move.

 

The head-pains and nausea have passed, but the emptiness lingers. This has become a day of leaving, of packing up and moving on and this is the second reason for the strange melancholy.  I have spent three days saying goodbye.  Some people, we have realised, I will never see or speak to again.  This is neither a good nor a bad thing, it’s just a thing.  I’ve exchanged an apartment full of crap for a bag packed with tshirts and jeans.  I’m exactly the kind of person who says, “relax, dude, it’s just stuff.” But it’s my stuff and it reinforces who I am.  Now I just have to hope there’s enough ‘me’ in that bag of clothes and toiletries to make me feel like a real person.  Could be I’ll feel more like a real person.  I’ve heard a lot of people say they travel to find themselves.

 

Tomorrow the spirit of adventure will possess me.  Tonight I just miss everyone.